I See You Not

We all sometimes felt that we are invisible to those around us. Whether it be in a room full of people or within a crowd of people, or sometimes even if we are alone with a person in one room. This feeling is not exactly a warm fuzzy feeling as all it does is to grow an idea in your head that you as a person might be insignificant to notice. Maybe it is our fault that we seem invisible, but it hurts more if it is not our fault. I simply laugh when put in this situation as I notice how funny people look when they notice everything around me, beyond me, or about me, but never ME.

I once saw a horror sketch that shows you a man who screams so hard yet no one can hear or even see him and he is followed by someone who is about to kill him. That really spooked me, and I guess the director wanted to appeal to our sense of being noticed and reversed that to create a psychological thriller that subconsciously scared us on levels we did not know. I have seen people crying for help from others only to be ignored so unceremoniously, only for those crying to slip into depression and deep resentment for those that ignored them. I have also seen cries for attention by children to their parents, only to be ignored and growing up breaking things just to let people notice them, only in a very negative way. So you see, we sometimes inadvertently do talk to someone one on one, and yet not see them in front of us, or to focus in their background or their setting but never on the person we talk to. To us this person is there and will always be there in front of us, that is why we choose to not focus on their needs or their feelings. Now how does this person feel in this situation, I'm sure we would never want to to do that to anyone or better yet we never want it to be done to us. So please take into consideration the next time you speak to anyone to give them your attention and to actually listen to what they say not to what the voice behind them say or what the future or the past says. I can guarantee that this person will start to be more fascinating and interesting should you disregard all that is around and look at not through or beyond.

I once read somewhere that in order to be a better listener we have to listen for the sake of listening and not for the sake of replying. That means a lot to me as it improved my conversational skills ten folds just by trying to remember that little quote every time someone speaks to me. It even noticeably made people happier to talk to me, so I guess it works somehow. So the next conversation you have with anyone at home, at work, or on the phone, try to make it count by listening to this person, focus on their voice, zone out all that is around you, clear your mind of all ideas that creep up to your head, and take your time to reply after you have heard what they said. Finally I will end this with a most profound quote by Ralph Ellison from his Invisible Man.

“I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything and anything except me.” 
― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man